By Dr Mohammad Kamran Ahsan,

Only  few days  left. Mother India may start to shine on the very next moment when incarnated god/ goddesses take charge of it.  The mother India will prosper on Gujarat Model, a vision, an idea of inclusive growth to be emulated by the whole world. Gujarat Model, in which Adanis work as the emissary of the gods, as the harbinger of development. The 67 years of mis governance and misrule (including Vajpayee’s stint as PM) will go into oblivion. This divine rule of the chosen ones will herald a new era of development, progress and economic boom (if not for the masses, surely for the big corporate houses) . Those who committed the sins of sedition and blasphemy by opposing these infallible gods and goddesses during the elections, would be sent to Pakistan. This is a befitting reply to Pakistan as these trouble mongers (Asurs/ demons) are the best suited lot to be the citizens of Pakistan.  There will be no swearing-in ceremony as in whose name these gods and goddesses will swear ? Consequently heavy expenditure on these unnecessary events will be saved. As these divine rulers are infallible, their regime will be eternal and everlasting, hence this election will be the last election in Indian history consequently million dollars unnecessary expenses on election will be saved forever. In place of election, FaceBook will be used for the referendum in every five years. The chant of Har Har Modi and Namo will be the panacea for the distressed souls as in every distress, people turn to gods.  Mere the chant of the ruling gods will fill the hungry stomachs. The very next moment, more than 100 million populations will cease to starve, the women will not be trafficked and hence there will be no prostitution, the child labour will stop automatically, the officers will cease to take bribe, the Police will work with the high standards of efficiency, and morality.  As there is no crime owing to the mass exodus of born criminals and terrorists to Pakistan, there will be no need of judiciary to punish the offenders. The work of Police will be reduced just to clean the streets and assist the senior citizens. There will be an overhaul in the political, civil, and defense system. The austerity measures will be implemented in every arena. The RSS will be given the responsibility to train the military in its shakhas. The million dollars incurred on military training will be saved. Due to the mass exodus of trouble mongers and illegal migrants to Pakistan and Bangladesh, these countries will have to grapple with their own internal problems created by these Asuras and hence the problem of terrorism and Kashmir will be solved once and for all.  As the demography of India will be drastically changed by the mass exodus of Bangladeshis, the burden of population will automatically be reduced on limited resource (resources are insufficient for the masses, but abundant for corporate)The age old untouchability will be cleaned automatically. The caste hierarchy will be rooted out even from the psyche. Caste based reservation, a stumbling block in national integration and equality will itself wither away in absence of castes. The lion and the goat will quench their thirst from the same ghat. Every single house will have access to the drinking water as Reliance and Adani will be given the contracts for bottling the drinking water from water resources. The every single house will be electrified by these nation builders by making big dams, bigger than Sardar Sarovar Dam. The construction of big dams will bring the fruits of development to the tribals and dalits whose land will be used in the construction of dams. The forest dwelling tribals will be urbanised overnight. Though the government does not have enough land for their  rehabilitation, there is sufficient land for the slums at the outskirts of big cities. There is much hue and cry over the ecological degradation due to the construction of big dams. As these dams will be constructed by the divine power, the environmental concerns are rubbish. Only divine dictates are enough to save the ecology.

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The thieves and criminals will either go to Himalayas or Mecca for penance. The crammed prison cells will yearn for the inmates as there will be a famine of offenders; no one will dare to commit offense under the rule of gods/ goddesses. The very next day every single individual will forget the scars of communal frenzy and consequent rapes, loot, killings, arson. There will be Maya Kodnanis, Babu Bajrangis, Amit Shahs, Togadias, Dara Singhs , ( the one who burnt Graham Stens and his two children) to teach the lessons to the anti national muslims, and christians. They will instill nationalism in these scums of society.
The corporate giants will receive their due share in nation building that was hitherto undistributed ( though congress also tried hard to ascertain that these corporate nationalists receive their share for their service to the nation) Marxist Utopia of Equality ( equal distribution of resources) will come true . The resources will be equally and justly  distributed among the corporate nationalists. A new syllabus of general studies will be formed, based on the general knowledge of NaMo, the god.  For the weather forecast Meteorological
Department will use Jyotish Vidya in place of satellites. Health Ministry will be given to Baba Ramdev who will cure the cancer by his yoga camps. The black money stashed in Swiss Banks will be  brought back to India,  though Vajpayee’s government tried its best to bring it back.  The polluted water of Maa Ganga will become as clean as these gods are.

Population one of the biggest problems will be solved by kicking anti national communities who are  inherently terrorists and criminals either to Pakistan or Qabrustaan. These inherently criminals, terrorists, trouble mongers have the tendency of ham paanch , hamarey pachaas,we five our fifty). Our beloved Atalji has also certified that wherever these terrorists are in the world, they have natural tendency of trouble mongering with their fellow countrymen and the governments. As soon as the mother land will be purged of these satanic races, their places of worship  (devalyas) in which they worship their foreign gods and pay homage to their foreign prophets, will be transformed into Shochalyas.  Thus the problem of open defecation will be finished. As the beef eating asuras will be put into place by the incarnate Lord Shiva, the cow slaughter is out of the question.

As there will be no need of judiciary, in any contingency the judicial authority will be handed over to Amit Shah , DG Vanzara, Pandey. These people have enough experience of tackling the situation in the absence of judiciary.  The honor of holy men like Sadhvi Pragya, Swami Aseemanand, Bapu Asaram will be restored as they suffered the atrocities of Congress regimes.

In order to instill sense of nationalism in the youths, the annals of Hitler and Mussolini will become the part of syllabus. The flawed version of history that eulogises foreign invaders of foreign faiths will be rectified. The misdeeds of Nehru and Gandhi ( appeasement of minorities) will be highlighted.

Women will move freely without the fear of sexual violence. The women empowerment ministry will be given to the holy men who were falsely implicated by the Congress in Bilkis Bano rape case.The country will be free from the onslaught of Love Jihad. Mere the name of the gods will evoke fear in the hearts of Love Jehadis.

From J&K to Kanya Kumari, the entire nation will be united and homogenised by implementing Uniform Civil Code, thus the linguistic and regional tension will be finished.

Thus India will be the only nation in the world ruled by divine figures. The US, Europe will be tempted to our iust, equal and peaceful country.

Surely the second coming is at hand….

(Dr Mohammad Kamran Ahsan is an assistant professor at AMU Center  Murshidabad)