Raut Vs Ranaut

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Asma Anjum Khan | Muslim Mirror

 Respected Sanjay Raut Sir,

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Have been watching your show for the last few days.

Fantastic , Sir.

Never ever have seen you in such a terrific meltdown, sorry, mode, Sir.

You would imagine, rather, ‘we was’ enjoying this transition?

No, Sir, no,   Aai Shappath!.

We don’t do schadeunfreude.

You are in Maha Aaghadi now, along with those whom you thought of milking us as vote banks.

In all these years, since we have been watching your show, this time it looked different. Or, perhaps, your time then or the times, you are now in, are different.

I was trying to put my finger on this weird word, ’different’.

Is it different like Maggi sauce is different or is it really real different?

We are still wondering.

But different it was, for sure, from the times when you threw ‘disenfranchisement’ at us and then cajoled half-heartedly, saying it was only to save us (from becoming the dirty fat old cow bank, (sorry, vote bank) of you-know-who)

Don’t know why I began missing our dear George of the Jungle, and his, ’We want to bring democracy to Iraq’.

What to do?

Somewhere, someone is always bringing something for us.

We are feeling lucky!

Well, we always do.

Forgetting the past is pragmatic.

For the one party, that is always us.

Because forgetting is everything, the one advice we are given after each carnage is to: Move on.

And how can we move on if we don’t forget?

Hence, we always find ourselves in a Moving Bus.

I am reminded of a beautiful poem written for some romantic purposes by Pablo Neruda, but fits here perfectly, with a little tweaking,

If you forget me little by little

I would love it, little by little.

Hence, sir, if it looked like you had forgotten us, we hadn’t, how can we?

FORGET you?

We are those loyal victims everyone likes to take a shot at. No, it is not Stockholm; it is our very own Chicken Gut syndrome.

After you forgot us for quite a lump sum of time, we had started believing that you went for a vacation.

At least, for us.

Coming to your role in getting us, that never thought before, never done before, Dream Amalgam of Congress-Shiv Sena-NCP;

It felt cosmic, what they call in Marathi, Daivi.

We were amazed to see your resilience which eventually took you to the hospital; we saw you writing from your hospital bed, Sir, after the Aghadi Amalgam.

Perhaps only a Sanjay Raut could do it.

Sir, I read in a blog by famed political analyst Raju Parulekar that you as the editor of Saamna, never cut a word from his drafts and only a writer can know what a blessing this is.

But then you did cut your own words from that rather uncooked draft.

The recent H……khor sprayed at Miss Himachal Pradesh was not a winning shot; anyone would tell you.

Honestly, that Miss didn’t deserve a reply from a person of your stature.

Your explanation further was hilariously disappointing.

Were we watching that same Sanjay Raut who thundered in the Saamna editorials?

No, for God’s sake, Aai shappath, we were not drawing some vicarious pleasure out of your discomfiture.

No, we don’t do schadenfreude.

We only do chickeneering now.

Have been left with no other option.

Your explanation of H…..khor meaning naughty in Maharashtrian parlance was classic.

H….khor means naughty, okay, then.

But when you turned it into a double-edged pun by compounding it with the word ‘girl’…

‘Naughty Girl’ ….that was the moment, sir.

Call it epiphany or what but we were mystified when you said, Naughty.

Our titles got transferred that day.

When Miss Ranaut called Aamchi Mumbai as ‘PoK’ (Pakistan-occupied Kashmir), we were astonished. Because had it been so, why would have you and your party folks kept sending us to Pakistan, all these years?

It is that simple.

(also, I noticed, they always ask us to, ‘Go’ to Pakistan, they never say ‘Fly’ to Pakistan;  perhaps it is expensive. )

By the way, now we have developed immunity against this phrase; as it is said in Marathi; no one weeps over a dead body every day.

The question is, who is the dead body here?

I have no idea or maybe actually, all of us?

Morally Dead?

That ignorant Miss Himachal Pradesh should have asked us before labeling our beloved, jaan se pyari Mumbai in such a vile manner.

It was beyond disgusting.

I tell you, Sir, such elements deserve a better term;

Namak Haram.

That metamorphosis of Miss Himachal Pradesh into Kangana Ranaut was granted to her by our Laadki (darling) Mumbai. Where would she be without Mumbai? Who would know her, if not for our Mumbai? Could she have barked nonstop as she has been, had our Mumbai not privileged her, embraced her lovingly, knowing well she was not from Mumbai’s sacred soil?

It was only and only Aamchi Mumbai that made the transformation of a certain Miss Himachal Pradesh into an a la Kangana Ranawat.

And it would be only and only Mumbai that would see to it that, she doesn’t turn into a phantasmagoria.

It is high time, this hypocrisy is called out.

Sir, it is time to take back our legacy from those who only know how to use it for their own self-seeking agenda that weakens our regional ethos and let’s re-assert our proud Maharashtrian identity for ourselves.

In the following interview, your foresight is evident.

Sir, we must snatch back our proudest of the legacies, of Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj from those who don’t understand it in its true essence and make it our very own; for you, me and everyone born and brought up in Maharashtra, the land of the great saints.

Journalist Raju Parulekar tweets that the politics of Hindutva has always harmed the cause of Maharashtra dharm.  

Time is now for our great Maratha tradition to show the way forward to our country, like it always has.

‘ मराठा तितुका मेळवावा, महाराष्ट्र धर्म वाढवावा।

आहे तितुके जतन करावे, पुढे आणिक मेळवावे।

महाराष्ट्र राज्य करावे जिकडे तिकडे।’

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