By Nida Fatima

The .5% cow cess is beyond my comprehension. Which self -sufficient mother after all levies additional burden on her starving children? I am sure this Ma ka laal has come up with it without even consulting the mother in whose name the extortion has been done.

Had he had the courage to stand before his mata and tell her what he has devised on pretext of her welfare she would have blessed him with a kick in the right place.

Mata ji after all is completely self- sufficient. Earlier it was just milk but now with the scientific developments and broadening of minds there is a thriving of gobar and gau- mutr market. As we all know gau- gobar and gau- mutr are not mere excretions. They contain within them the power to transform our country into a super power with a super economy.

The other day my friend told me the only reason ma ke laal have not been able to built a smart city is that there isn’t enough gobar to plaster the walls. Moreover what is a smart city without provision for smart medical care? There also the same problem has come. There isn’t enough gau- mutr to sterilise medical equipments and OTs.

My friend then leaned towards me and whispered in my ear that it’s the meat eating Musalmans who are causing all the shortage. What’s more they even refuse to accept Gau as mother. So Ma ke laal the real sons of gau mamma came up with this ingenious plan to employ some dim-witted Ma ke laals to lynch these Muslims and save their mother.

Of course they have never consulted their Ma before doing all this in her name. That’s why their bums are still fine and there are able to sit comfortably in their PM, CM, MP and MLA chairs.

I asked my friend if gau mamma has solutions for rising petrol price and inflation. ‘Of course!’ he said. In ancient India they used gobar -gas to run spacecrafts. So what’s the big deal in running these small four wheeled vehicles?

The problem he said is with people’s mind-set. They are so obsessed with modern science and logic that they simple refuse to believe the innumerable benefits of cow excretions. It’s our ancestors fault, he said, that they did not preserve the methodologies and techniques of gobar  and mutr utilization.

Did I tell you that he has applied for the post of Vice Chancellor in a university in Andhara Pradesh? I hope he gets the position. Mark my words then the pass outs from that university will change the future of India. We shall live to see gobar vimans operated by astronauts who will sustain in space with the help of power packed gobar capsules and mutr tonics.

Did you say that the cow jumped over the moon? I do not know if the cow will jump over the moon or not but I can foresee myself standing in a queue along with cows to cast my vote. My friend, the VC-to-be strongly believes in universal cow franchise.

We hope India will become a  Gobar -Power via  Cowocracy soon.